Neither of us celebrate or recognise any cultural celebration, including our own birthdays.
We were exposed to cultural celebrations in childhood.
From birth to around age 13 or 14, birthdays were carried out for myself by my parents, and I was invited to and attended a few from friends. This grew increasingly less in the period between ages 11 and 14.
In a forum post at age 14, I described not seeing New Year’s Eve as a ‘symbolic importance’ and said that I celebrated Christmas because it was an ‘excuse to get presents’.
I no longer wanted to invite anyone around for a birthday at around age 15. Both of us stopped taking part in any cultural celebrations at around age 16, including our own birthdays.
At age 16, I derided Christmas and stated, ‘That day is Dec 25th and nothing else.’ I later stated that in an ‘ideal society’, I would ‘slowly phase out and eliminate marriage as a ceremony and official status.’ At age 17, I derided Valentine’s Day and stated, ‘I’m doing nothing. That day will be like any other. I’ve forgotten what day it is today, and when Valentine’s passes, I won’t notice.’
At age 16, I stated, ‘It’s not the new year in the Islamic Hijri calendar, nor the Iranian calendar, nor the Taiwanese or North Korean calendar. 2015 isn’t an objective thing. It’s held up by the crowd of humans in the Homo sapiens populace that follow the Christian religion. In fact, the year should logically start at the winter solstice, Dec 21 or 22.’
At age 17, my friend stated, ‘I hate official marriage.’ I replied, ‘I won’t have one.’ My friend later stated, ‘Marriage is on the way out. Soon, it will be discarded’, and later stated, ‘I oppose marriage, altogether.’
At age 17, my friend stated:
‘I should have forwarded my Facebook birthday to stop the notification, and now there’s the endless anxiety of responding to people’s happy birthday messages, which I didn’t want. Hopefully, I won’t get any.
It’s not even happy, for a start. It’s dismal. I hate birthdays. It’s too much. I always hope there is nothing in a card, because then I’ll have to say “Thank you”.’
At age 17, I stated, ‘One reason I will not be celebrating my 18th birthday is because it should not be celebrated. It is not a celebratory occasion that calls for celebration. … I told my mum that it will not be a day of celebration on my 18th birthday but it will be a day of mourning, and she freaked out.’
At age 16, my friend stated:
‘[Your 18th birthday], your favourite day.’ I replied, ‘No. I do not want it to occur. I want the calendar day skipped, like February 29.’
My friend replied, ‘Are you asking for no celebrations, no cards?’ I replied, ‘I just won’t have any. I will let it pass like any other day. My parents will have a card, and the family will have informal commemoration at home but nothing more.’
My friend asked, ‘Will you tell them to recognise that you aren’t 18?’ I replied, ‘No; they know I don’t want to be.’
On my 18th birthday, whilst many of my Facebook friends wrote, ‘Happy birthday’, my friend wrote, ‘Commiserations.’ His was the only comment I ‘liked’.
At age 19, my friend asked:
‘Do you even get anything for Christmas or birthdays anymore?’ I replied, ‘Of course not, and birthdays just don’t happen. I don’t let them happen.’
My friend replied, ‘Good. I am the same, but my family still fuss, or attempt to fuss. Every single day of the year is the same for me. I don’t celebrate anything.’
At age 19, I stated:
‘Marriage is a sham. Only real love matters. One does not need a socially learnt institution to prove love to someone. Same as Valentine’s day.
It’s not instinctual or biological. It’s social, purely. It’s trying to prove love based on what others have done and only that. “Others celebrate Valentine’s and get married, so we should.” It’s an offence to equate love to whatever anyone else is doing.
Don’t even have to mention the high divorce rate. You get abusive relationships in marriage and then perfectly fine relationships without marriage. It means zero.
If I hear a girl talking about it romantically, they’re out. It’s not an expression of love; it’s an expression of conforming to social traditions, and that’s it, and that’s why it would end my prospect of a long-term future with that girl.’
At age 19, I stated:
‘How people have it in them to celebrate such an occasion as [New Year’s] is beyond me.’
My friend replied, ‘I was just saying that, and I just picked up the phone to tell you. Yes, people are actually excited. How? How can you be excited about it? How can you be happy about it? It’s depressing. It’s evil. It’s disgusting.’
I replied, ‘I don’t know whether they’re not actually thinking of or questioning the basis of what they’re celebrating or whether they are aware that they are celebrating the passing of time and a random calendar.’
At age 19, I stated:
‘I never believed in Santa, but I do remember being confounded by my teeth disappearing under my pillow, not realising that it was my parents doing it. I would never do that to my child. No silly pranks, and no silly traditions. We will be a monolithic, traditionless family, stone cold.’
I later stated at age 20, ‘There are a lot of things parents do that I’d never do. The list goes on. There’ll be no Santa Claus in my household. If my kids bring up Santa, I’ll tell them it’s not real and is just a tradition. My parents also tried to make me believe the tooth fairy existed. That would never happen in my house.’
At age 19, my friend stated:
‘I was just asked in front if the class what I’m going to be doing over Easter. [The teacher] had already went round asking everyone else, and they all had these exotic plans, and I said, “I’m going to be on the computer”, and it was deadly serious.
The teacher asked, “What, the whole time..?” and I said, “Yes”, and all the girls in the class were smirking and shaking their head, and I had a totally iron expression.’
At age 20, I stated to someone other than my friend:
‘… 18th-birthday balloons: we were talking about how we see them everywhere online, and it’s become this repetitive caricature. My 18th birthday was a day like any other. All my birthdays are set to be like that.
The last time my family forced me on a birthday meal, I can’t remember, but now I even refuse that. Christmas: can’t even remember the last time I celebrated that.’
At age 20, my friend stated, ‘Look at this. I can’t even show you because of how cringy it is. [Someone] sent me a happy-birthday message, but it was over the top. You’re the only person who realises that I don’t want my birthday acknowledged in any way.’
At age 21, I stated, ‘Christmas just looks terrifying to me nowadays, like a terrifying cult. It doesn’t look joyous at all. It just arouses cringe.’